An excerpt of Polarized, Entry One by Jill Yoder
Dear Journal,
Since a two-week stay in the mental health unit at Evergreen Heights Hospital, I missed our alone time. You and your pages are my loyal confidants. Dr. Medford insisted he read everything, so I had to be careful about what I wrote to you. The doctor said he needs me to continue writing to you while I am home.
Finally, I am home now and will have you to myself. My husband, Cole, picked me up to take me away from there, and he seemed distant. I might be wrong, though. Perhaps the clinical environment made things seem unnatural for both of us. Don’t get me wrong; he was kind and gentle with me.
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An excerpt of Polarized, Entry Two by Julie Kusma
Dear Jorja,
Surprise, I’m back. In truth, I never left. Did you think I would slip into the background— integrate and become consumed by you?
Admit it, I’m the loyal confidant you spoke of, not the pages in this journal, and certainly not Dr. Medford. You reached out to me. Communicating this way is rather exciting, don’t you agree? I mean, I see and hear everything. You always remain in the dark when I come out. Now, I can tell you what happens while you’re gone. Do you want me to share?
Gawd, I thought we would never receive a discharge from Evergreen. Fourteen days is a long time. The day Cole waltzed in to take us home, I almost punched him in the nose. The closer he got, the greater my temptation to lash out, but our freedom reigned imperative.
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An excerpt of Polarized, Entry Three by Jill Yoder
Judith,
No! Dr. Medford told me you left—forever, and for good. How did you find me? How did you find my journal? I hid it, where nobody would ever think of looking.
I’m confused because there is no way you could hide so well at Evergreen, but I could be wrong as I often am. I find myself thinking about the fun we had with Cole. Do you remember? That evening, he didn’t know which one of us he was talking to from moment to moment. Of course, I felt guilty for taunting him. It was your idea, and I should have stopped us from taking part in the deception. I always give in to your will, though. I try to fight you, but I fade into the background.
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An excerpt of Polarized, Entry Four by Julie Kusma
Jorja,
There is no getting rid of me. Dr. Medford is a fool. We’re entwined, sprung forth from the same soul into this miserable world. Although I must say, my world is a little more pleasant without Cole yapping about. What about yours?
You do make me laugh. You can’t keep things from me: not your thoughts, your journal, or your deeds. We are one, remember? Besides, under the mattress is the first place everyone looks. It would serve you to think more like me because I’m good at hiding things from you. A little too good, you’ll see.
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An excerpt of Polarized, Entry Five by Jill Yoder
Judith,
Okay. Fine. So, I can’t get rid of you. However, I can fight you at every turn. At least I’ll try to. Wait, perhaps I’ll show you just how strong I am. You think of me as the weakest link in our relationship. Your weakness, though, is overconfidence—it often blinds you to things I do without your help.
I know you did something to Cole. I’m smart enough to figure that out. No, I don’t want to believe it, but there it is. I suspected your involvement by your sadistic mind games.
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